Sherman Elementary School

Thank you to Sherman Elementary School K-5 graders for such great chats about the true meaning of friendship!!

I joined several hundred students in a conversation about what it means to be a friend. We focused quite a bit on the value of differences.  Here's the story I shared:  A friend of mine used to come to school with the weirdest thing in her lunch box.  It was a green fruit with slices shaped like stars.  Everyone teased her for not having the typical Doritos or Dunkaroos (am I dating myself with that one?)  One day, I asked her about the fruit.  She gave me a try.  This delish green star, appropriately called Star Fruit, has forever since been my favorite fruit of all time!  Now, look what I would have missed!  When we bully someone for their differences we are often trying to establish dominance and control over something we don't understand.  Instead, educate yourself.  You might find your very own Star Fruit in the world.

Huge thank-you to the students and the staff for welcoming me in for a great day!!!

Behind the Scenes: Sackets Harbor

Sackets Harbor Parent Anti-Bullying Forum

The students rocked this afternoon.  Tonight, I'm talking with the parents. 

I hosted a Sacket's Harbor community anti-bullying forum for adults to talk about the role adults and educators play in the war on bullying.  Parents filled the gym to find out how they can help ease the pains their students' face from peer torment, as well as to better understand the state of cyber bullying. (Check out the article in the Watertown Daily Times for some highlights.)

The event opened with a performance by the Sackets Harbor Glee Club.  They were the stars tonight.  The musical group serves as a social outlet for students looking for support and acceptance.  The program is quickly becoming a noted anti-bullying initiative across Northern New York.

 Best part of the night?  When the Glee students, one by one, shared their stories.  One young lady brought the house to tears when she told of being teased for crying over a family tragedy.  I know!  Broke my heart, too!  She walked with her chin held high, declaring that she won't let anyone hurt her or her friends anymore. Someone hand her a crown. They had a captive audience of the very people by whom they wished to be heard. We fail to give young people are undivided and captive attention often enough. Leadership is a muscle that must be flexed and therefore such opportunities must be facilitated if we wish to ensure powerful leaders for the next generation.

Thank you to the parents and community members, the Glee Club, and a special thanks to Sackets Harbor for welcoming me into your school and being so engaged in the conversation!!

And look!!!!  I'm an official member!!! Best award of my year!!

Sackets Harbor K-12

Thank you to Sackets Harbor Central School's K-12 students for a great day discussing bullying!!  I spoke with three assemblies of students today in Sackets Harbor, NY, for three very different talks about "being mean" and standing up.

Had a gorgeous young woman approach me after the 9-12 assembly with tears in her eyes.  She shared her story - years of torment from peers, no apparent reason behind their cruelty, and more - until one part struck me: she mentioned having a sit-down with one of the students who has harassing her and asked him, "Why are you doing this?" "Because you made fun of me when we were younger," he shouted back.  Clearly a few years have passed since then, so why is he still mad?  Let's be honest: many of us (me included) fail to discuss our feelings at the time of their deepest onset.

Girls, we are the worst at this. When we let sadness fester, it turns to anger which is the heart of bullying.  We have to talk things out!  Now I am no expert at this, as it's something I have to remind myself to do quite often.  Used to be that whenever someone hurt me, I'd give them a mental evil eye.  Somehow I figured they would get the message.  Wrong.  Got to be direct!  That doesn't mean start throwing your hand in someones face and slapping each other like you're on an episode of Flavor of Love.  Direct means clear and firm.  Let the person know what they did, how it made you feel, and what you'd like them to do.  Example: "It is really insulting when you call me that, I'd like you to stop."  Done.  At this point, the aggressor has two response choices; If they stop, they did it right.  If they continue, they are now acting with preexisting knowledge that their behavior is causing you harm. They are now bullying.  But you?  You've done it right.  If they are going to continue, you should do what you can to stay away.  Those who make the conscious choice to hurt others are not worth your time.

Huge thanks again to the students and staff!!  I came to Sackets Harbor earlier in the year to meet the superintendent and principal.  They are doing such a killer job of keeping their students engaged in positive social experiences, including their Glee Club.  But that's a story for next blog post...I'll be back tonight for another event with Sackets Harbor!

PS 47Q

Thank you to students of PS47 for a great day talking about bullying!!  I worked with three assemblies and one small group to discuss how personal choices can create big changes.

Earlier this year the 6th grade class at PS47 in Queens used my Daily News article as a study piece on bullying.  The students and staff invited me to their school to speak live about the article and the issues it covered. This was a bunch of smarties. I could tell just from our conversations. They were ambitious and mature, but I don't think that was all. After three assemblies I sat to answer questions for the 6th graders, and have to thank them for such thoughtful questions!

Now, off I go across the state!  See you tomorrow in Watertown.